Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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