people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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