i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize