I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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