It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize