I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
