he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
