If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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