cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
