I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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