Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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