I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
