census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
