the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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