Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just had sex on a roof
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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