1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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