i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
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just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
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The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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