She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
