I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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