I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's shark week go big or go home
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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