If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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