I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
