I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
