Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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