very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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