office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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