Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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