I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
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Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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