I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
