My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize