It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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