Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
