No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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