don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
