I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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