I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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