Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
