office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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