we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
