The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
