Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
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And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Couch. On fire.
FUCK WHALES
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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