Texts From Last Night

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  (941): View more from Florida

  so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.

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  (941): so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation. http://tfl.nu/o6ey
  Replies (41) Good night (942) Bad night (10424)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.

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  (403): so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them. http://tfl.nu/j4fw
  Replies (7) Good night (7847) Bad night (1036)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.

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  (231): I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/7ezq
  Replies (9) Good night (3542) Bad night (1318)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.

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  (207): He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job. http://tfl.nu/muvn
  Replies (7) Good night (2357) Bad night (1306)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Things like this can't be explained over text man

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  (678): Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning? (404): Things like this can't be explained over text man http://tfl.nu/zzxh
  Replies (22) Good night (4570) Bad night (1317)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again

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  (781): I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again http://tfl.nu/5dv2
  Replies (2) Good night (1010) Bad night (588)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW

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  (417): THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW http://tfl.nu/z4i2
  Replies (1) Good night (1175) Bad night (451)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.

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  (+27): Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on. http://tfl.nu/4hb1
  Replies (1) Good night (719) Bad night (427)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again

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  (484): HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again http://tfl.nu/udnf
  Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (630)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Again, totally unrelated

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  (902): On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel (902): Again, totally unrelated http://tfl.nu/6fey
  Replies (4) Good night (618) Bad night (407)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.

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  (902): On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels. http://tfl.nu/7u4p
  Replies (4) Good night (311) Bad night (792)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.

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  (774): I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel. http://tfl.nu/y9e0
  Replies (0) Good night (877) Bad night (377)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?

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  (210): Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay? http://tfl.nu/lfht
  Replies (5) Good night (948) Bad night (331)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed

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  (512): i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed http://tfl.nu/6l3x
  Replies (1) Good night (553) Bad night (233)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked

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  (850): Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked http://tfl.nu/ebfg
  Replies (2) Good night (625) Bad night (189)

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