Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
