the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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