the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
