dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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