I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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