They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
