You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
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I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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