a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
