On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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