that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
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My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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