You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
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One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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