He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
