Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
